Reflecting on Relationships
- anna05637
- Jul 28
- 3 min read
"The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life" - Esther Perel
In our previous post, we explored how to reflect on the vital signs of your leadership health. In this third instalment of this summer series, we turn our attention to a different but equally critical domain: your relationships.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, no leader operates in a vacuum. The strength—or strain—of our relationships, both professional and personal, is often the invisible force shaping the quality of our thinking, decision-making, and ultimately, our impact.
High-performing leaders routinely audit their priorities, but how often do you pause to audit your relationships?
As part of your leadership retreat or reset, we recommend using the Up, In, Out framework—a simple yet profound model for evaluating the relational architecture of your life and leadership.
UP - Who's Investing in You?
These are your upward relationships: mentors, coaches, wise advisors, spiritual directors—people who’ve gone before you and whose wisdom you trust.
Ask yourself:
Who am I learning from right now?
Who do I look up to that challenges and helps me to grow?
Are there voices of wisdom missing from my "personal advisory board"?
Research consistently shows that leaders with a trusted coach or mentor are more resilient, make better decisions, and report higher levels of well-being. If you don’t currently have someone playing this role, the quieter rhythms of summer may be the ideal time to find one—or re-engage with someone who’s drifted off your radar.
🔍 Practical tip: Make a list of 2–3 individuals who could fill a wisdom gap for you. Reach out. Ask a question. Begin the conversation.
IN - Who's Walking Beside You?
These are your inward relationships: peers, close colleagues, friends, family—people who truly get you and walk the journey alongside you.
Leadership can be lonely. Executive roles especially come with pressures that few fully understand. That’s why it's vital to have a circle of trusted peers who offer empathy, challenge, and companionship.
Ask yourself:
Who really knows what I’m carrying right now?
Am I making space for connection, not just collaboration?
How am I investing in my closest relationships—at home and at work?
We created Tillon House as a space where exceptional leaders could find strength in community. Whether it's a strategic sounding board or a supportive dinner table, these relationships matter.
🔍 Practical tip: Schedule intentional time with your partner, your kids, or a peer you trust. The summer slowdown is a great moment to reconnect—with fewer distractions and more presence.
3. OUT – Who Are You Investing In?
These are your outward relationships: mentees, children, emerging leaders—people into whom you are pouring your experience and time.
Generativity—giving back—is not just altruistic. Studies show that leaders who mentor others report higher meaning, better engagement, and even improved physical health.
Ask yourself:
Who am I developing right now?
Where am I sharing what I’ve learned?
Could I contribute to a formal mentoring scheme or a next-gen leader?
One of our clients recently hosted a "bring your child to work" day, and it was deeply moving to see children join video calls and witness their parent in action. It’s moments like these that both humanise leadership and create lasting bonds.
🔍 Practical tip: Identify one person you could intentionally invest in over the next 90 days. Offer feedback. Share a story. Invite them into a process.
Feeling Off?
If your relational ecosystem feels off—your board is dysfunctional, your team dynamics are draining, your calendar leaves no time for the people who matter—perhaps it’s time to pause.
We would be honoured to come alongside you as a trusted guide through one of our Leadership Intensives—a space for reflection, recalibration, and reconnection
Download the Reflection Prompt
Use our Up, In, Out worksheet to dive deeper. Designed to guide your thinking during a retreat or solo reflection time, it helps clarify where you’re relationally rich—and where attention is needed.
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